Find me Back

at my other blog http://lilpeasinmypodfromgod.blogspot.com/ All the blogs was too confusing! Just leaving myself where I have been for years so re-add me

Religion is the problem. When I step back, rip away all the "good wife, good mother, good this and that books," I actually miss having a relationship with God. I do believe. I don't know what I believe about the Bible at this point and time as I have read so much in reference to it that is annoying or discrediting, but I do know in my heart that God exists. I cannot go a day without praying several times "on accident," lately as I was just over everything and trying to step back from it all. I need to be able to pray and realized that it is so natural to me that its like drinking water during the day. I just feel that God has to be real, up there. I don't know much else at this point as I don't really believe much more than that right now.

 Religion is definately the problem and even the Bible which I certainly don't take 100% literally anymore says "James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." This is merely one example of many I could pull up. Basically what I am getting at is that a relationship with your God, whoever he may be, is what is important and for me......essential to live. I cannot believe that a loving God would be in Heaven, angry at me for being bisexual if that is how I was created by Him. I'm definately not trying to sit here and toot my own horn, but I feel I am a generally good person, practicing good deeds as an example to my children and being a charitable, kind and thoughtful type of mother and that is what I feel is important. I don't care about prescribed rules of religion. In fact, I want nothing to do with them, yet I believe in my heart of hearts God must exist because trying to shut Him out for even more than a day is impossible for me. It literally cannot happen. I have kept all this private until now because I really thought for a day there, maybe even 2, that I didn't believe in God at all. While following "Religion," I missed the entire point and made myself miserable too.

Hospitality

So Nate and I are challenging ourselves to more hospitality. It's a lost art, an important one for keeping close relationships with family and friends. This is a tough one for me right now in this season of my life(throwing up daily), but as I begin to feel better, this should come much easier. We are working on inviting someone, friends or family, each week for dinner. Its fun, helps us expand our cooking skills and friendships! Tonight we are hosting a friend I have known since jr highschool. I am excited to see her. It will be fun to catch up since she moved away for a year and is now back to the area. I have no clue who we will ask to come by next week, but it will be someone!  An added benefit is cleaning the house super good for company which means it stays nicer during the week. I am working hard on self improvement, that's mainly gratitude for the real important things in life. What matters is close relationships with family and friends. My kids, my husband, my animals, walking in the fresh air pushing along my babies even while dry heaving. The all day sickness will pass along like it did with all the other children and I will soon have a cute belly to replace it. I have to chose to live in gratitude each day, each hour, each minute. It doesn't come naturally, but someday with practice, it will.

Fresh Off the Crochet Hook!

I think Jax really loves it:)

Turkey Day is on the Way

So is our first possibility of snow :O tonight! EEeeep:) Yay

A Fun Project for the Day

I spent today doing this lap quilt. I love the fabrics and while they feel fallish, they will work year round as well. On a really good note, I found my crochet hooks! Now its time to start making Christmas gifts......the best!

School Update

I promised this post a while back, but life happened so here I am! So, the school the kids are attending is absolutely perfect, NO....I'm not being sarcastic! This school is seriously the best school ever. Its as adorable and picturesque outside as the inner workings are.

 Kayla has adjusted perfectly and quickly made rank to one of the most popular girls in 6th grade. My phone rings off the hook for her when she is not in school. She has a birthday party or outing of some sort she attends almost every weekend! She made lead part*(Belle) in the school play of Beauty and the Beast, a musical. She is really enjoying school and I couldn't be happier for her. Her teacher is amazing as well.

Wyatt, oh Wyatt......this was what my perfect little mind dreamt of for 5 years while I homeschooled him. He is in a special day class for mild kids. He has kids from regular classrooms who come in for just one subject through the day as well. He is mingling with peers who are similar to himself with mild aspergers or just learning issues. He has made quick friends with 2 kids in his class and stolen the hearts of Kayla's friends on the playground and during breakfast and lunch:) He has yet to be bullied or have any social problems. He is THRIVING! I am ecstatic. His teacher is truly a miracle, so is the aid in the class. They send new things home with all sorts of creative devices to keep pushing Wyatt along in math and reading and spelling. Its amazing to see the academic achievement he is capable of. He is scoring 80-100% each week on spelling tests with challenging words. His reading is improving and his math.....omg I cannot believe the way his teacher has creatively taught him to do very high level math. He is dividing difficult 2-3 digit numbers, multiplying the same and I just couldn't be happier. They move along at his personal pace. He is also getting speech, occupational therapy and physical therapy which are things I cannot provide for him at home. I could squeal with happiness for the burdens lifted off me and the pure joy I feel for Wyatt.

Everett, much like Kayla is a social butterfly. He has lots of friends, does extremely well academically and has a wonderful teacher. He does his homework quickly and easily without help and loves to read. He is enjoying school a great lot because of all the friends he has made.

Tanner had some severe adjustment issues. I won't lie. The beginning was tough and I almost brought him home by himself for the year. I pursued a new teacher that was a K/1 combo(hes 1st grade but VERY immature socially) and this was the absolute perfect fit for him. The crying stopped. He quickly became attached to his current teacher and she gives me regular progress reports of how well he is doing socially and academically. It makes me so happy. She has nicknamed him "boots," because he is my little cowboy who wears nothing but his cowboy boots to school each day. They have made him quite popular and other kids have now acquired their own pairs:) hehe.

Hands down, school has been the single best decision for my children ever.....but now was the right timing! I don't regret homeschooling, in fact, I loved it! I still do "schooly" stuff with my babies I have at home all day. Its nice to see my kids flourishing though and moving to a new stage of life. We are all happy and this school couldn't be better, I mean that and how many people can say that about a public school? We are lucky!

Trunk or Treat and a Fall Festival

 Kayla the Corpse Bride

 Buzz, I mean Wyatt

 Ghostly Prisoner

Tan the Po Po

Madelynn/Sleeping Beauty, and she really does love to sleep!

Jaxxon as Baby Bear

Fall Festival, cotton candy, yumm

The Entire Crazy Gang

Kenna was waiting for cotton candy!

Lexi, Mae, and Kenna, cousins!

Sis with Leah

Kenna as Belle and Madelynn :0) Best friends, sisters AND princesses!

So we double dipped and went to two different local church's two nights in a row. Sunday night, it was trunk or treating at the Catholic church and last night, it was a Fall Festival at the Baptist church we were attending for 6 months. It was nice to see everyone, though we often see everyone as our boys attend Karate there every week. Of course, we got a million, when you coming back to church questions. I just smiled and nodded and told them all that I'm too sick for now. I am just too chicken to say more than that. Some of the kids were upset and begging to go Sunday. I might let them?? I don't want to stand in their way. We shall see! Overall though, a really fun few nights with lots of treats~!!

I Put on a Smile!

I forced myself to go to our annual Halloween party at our friend's house and I am SO glad I did. Getting out with my amazing hubby, kidless, was a good idea. I felt good all evening and never puked once. It was a really fun, puke free time!  Maybe I need to try and force myself to get together and go somewhere more often to combat the pukes:0)

Pumpkin Carving and Halloween Fun

The pics speak for themselves. Pumpkin carving was fun and I even managed to muster a green sea sick smile with my dirty wittle baby Jax in arms:) Toughing out these feelings(nausea that is) during holidays is definately hard. I am glad for the distraction though!

Late, But Still Posted

Belly picture from the day I turned 8 weeks. I am probably thinner this week simply because 9 weeks has been the most puking I have ever done during any pregnancy. I am SICK, I mean, really sick this week. I passed out alone with my 3 little ones 3 days ago, when I woke up on the floor, I realized they were playing with a jar of pickled jalapenos and a knife. It was very scary. I suppose I was severely dehydrated and that's why it happened. I did call my dr and he was supposed to call in zofran for me yesterday which never happened so now I get to harass them on Monday and beg for the meds. I also got the call that I failed my 1 hour glucose tolerance test....like miserably failed it soooooo it looks like I go for the 3 hour as soon as I feel I can do it without puking. Ah the joys of pregnancy. To be very honest, being an unplanned pregnancy, this one has been really tough on me emotionally. I feel like a spoiled brat to even say it, but I am not coming to terms to well with this. Being so sick is just adding to the misery 10 fold. If I could, I would cryogenically freeze this baby for 5 years until I felt more ready for it. This is just tough. From my Dr's best guess, it looks as if I had gotten pregnant while still on my period so for those who chart to avoid, good luck! I thought I knew my body pretty well and we avoided during the "fertile" time like normal, but this time my fertile time came a whole week earlier than it was supposed to. :( I know I will love this sweet little baby when it gets here, I just truly hate pregnancy and believe this will be my last. Nate and I are considering options right now to either do an IUD or have him get a vasectomy. If any of you have used an IUD, please give me your thoughts and opinions about it. I also would like to know which one you had, Paraguard or Mirena and your likes/dislikes. Thanks so much!

My Current Work in Progress

During morning sickness, I have found I must keep my mind busy at all times or I will puke almost nonstop as I notice every little smell, speck of dirt and so on. This is the project I chose to get started on. It will be a striped baby blanket when its all finished. I picked unisex colors and plan to crochet edging based on the actual sex of the baby to make it more geared for boy or girl. If its a boy, I will edge it out with the green, but for a girl, I am thinking the purples in there would like nice against the green. We shall see. I will update when its complete. I just got a bunch of charms and fat quarters as well so this mama can get to some more quilting soon too!

Pumpkin Patch 2011

We took our annual trip to the pumpkin patch, only this year we were "weekenders." My idea of the word is people who crowd into such places on weekends because we have never had to be THOSE people. We used to go on weekdays because we have always homeschooled. It was VERY crowded and hot and I puked 5X yesterday morning before even walking out the door, but we still managed to have a lot of fun being "weekenders." The kids are so ready for trick or treating. We have a Halloween party next friday night and they have Halloween parties in their classes and get to wear their costumes to school so they are looking forward to that:)  Nate and I are also dressing up this year and I am pretty excited for our costumes, I will post pics from our Halloween party we are going to next week!