Religion is the problem. When I step back, rip away all the "good wife, good mother, good this and that books," I actually miss having a relationship with God. I do believe. I don't know what I believe about the Bible at this point and time as I have read so much in reference to it that is annoying or discrediting, but I do know in my heart that God exists. I cannot go a day without praying several times "on accident," lately as I was just over everything and trying to step back from it all. I need to be able to pray and realized that it is so natural to me that its like drinking water during the day. I just feel that God has to be real, up there. I don't know much else at this point as I don't really believe much more than that right now.
Religion is definately the problem and even the Bible which I certainly don't take 100% literally anymore says "James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." This is merely one example of many I could pull up. Basically what I am getting at is that a relationship with your God, whoever he may be, is what is important and for me......essential to live. I cannot believe that a loving God would be in Heaven, angry at me for being bisexual if that is how I was created by Him. I'm definately not trying to sit here and toot my own horn, but I feel I am a generally good person, practicing good deeds as an example to my children and being a charitable, kind and thoughtful type of mother and that is what I feel is important. I don't care about prescribed rules of religion. In fact, I want nothing to do with them, yet I believe in my heart of hearts God must exist because trying to shut Him out for even more than a day is impossible for me. It literally cannot happen. I have kept all this private until now because I really thought for a day there, maybe even 2, that I didn't believe in God at all. While following "Religion," I missed the entire point and made myself miserable too.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." This is merely one example of many I could pull up. Basically what I am getting at is that a relationship with your God, whoever he may be, is what is important and for me......essential to live. I cannot believe that a loving God would be in Heaven, angry at me for being bisexual if that is how I was created by Him. I'm definately not trying to sit here and toot my own horn, but I feel I am a generally good person, practicing good deeds as an example to my children and being a charitable, kind and thoughtful type of mother and that is what I feel is important. I don't care about prescribed rules of religion. In fact, I want nothing to do with them, yet I believe in my heart of hearts God must exist because trying to shut Him out for even more than a day is impossible for me. It literally cannot happen. I have kept all this private until now because I really thought for a day there, maybe even 2, that I didn't believe in God at all. While following "Religion," I missed the entire point and made myself miserable too.
